We all know the feeling: racing heart, racing thoughts, vibrating body, sweaty palms, shallow breathing. This is us humans’ - and actually all mammals’- way of springing into action. It’s very useful, except when it’s not. Everyone feels anxious sometimes: do I need to get out of the way of this speeding car? did that interaction go okay? How will this _____ (fill in the blank: performance, meeting, project, decision, trip etc) work out? And it may not be bad to experience once in a while: it can mean that you deeply care about whatever you are worried about and trying to think through growing and nourishing it.

The question for me is how much of your space and energy is anxiety occupying? Another way of thinking about this is ‘who is leading the boat?’ has your anxious part trapped you in the hull of the boat and started steering, or is it helpfully playing its role on the crew (‘watch out for this ice berg coming up!), and allowing you, the Captain, to ultimately make the important calls.

Learning to mindfully pay attention to the topography of your anxiety- the physical sensations, thoughts/words, images, and emotions that come up for you- will help you develop a working relationship with your anxiety. You’ll be able to listen to your anxious part without being overtaken, and it can begin to trust that ‘you’ve got this’, and therefore become less intense.

Whether you’ve been struggling with intense anxiety for years and would like a new way of relating to it or are more recently noticing that your go-to is anxiety and are curious about doing things differently, working together in this way can give you a sense of choice that you will cherish.